Goddess Now
1 Journaling
Writing brings us lightI Sleepless in Gulfport
I Painting Haiku
On a recent conversation with my daughter who I like to call Dr.J aka Joanne, she was telling me about her upcoming trip to England. She had planned all the excursions and was going by herself. You're my idol! I exclaimed, what a woman! Mom she said, don't you remember when you went to Spain 40 years ago alone? I drove you to the airport, Oh right, I forgot, This gave me pause, I started to think about it, the memories came flooding back. And as I enjoyed them ,I thought others may enjoy stories of my maiden voyage as well...So thank you Joanne for the inspiration.
I was 40 years old and newly divorced after 21 years of marriage
and 5 children. I was excited/nervous. I was teaching then, working on my
masters degree & had the summer off & I had just moved to Tibeca/NYC,
Yes. it was a very exciting year! The plan was my teacher friend &
colleague. Carole & I would meet in the train station in Barcelona. But
first I would fly to Germany & visit my son Glenn who was in the Air
Force and stationed at Hahn Air Force Base. First stop Frankfurt, Germany. I
was excited to see Glenn & see how he was doing in his new military life.
By all accounts he was thriving, the lifestyle was agreeing with him. He had
made friends, a girlfriend and bought himself a BMV that he was so proud of.I
was duly reassured.Glenn had set up accomodations for me off base, he
wanted me to get a taste of the real Germany.That piece of the trip worked very
smoothly, we had a good visit & did the tourist thing visiting some castles
& Octoberfest , beer garden festivals. When the weekend was over it was
time to say Adieu. Happy in the knowledge that he had adjusted nicely, I
proceeded to the next right thing. We said goodbye & Glenn put me on a
train to Barcelona where I was to meet friend Carole...and that nervous feeling
in my belly started, what was it ? butterflies/excitement/nervous again. It was
an overnite trainride to Barcelona & I would arrive in the morning. We
arrived on time & I disembarked to the platform. I looked around and went
upstairs to the mezzanine area. I looked around for my friend and remember no
cell phones back then, & I did not see her. So I looked around some more
& no Carole, I was devastated ; what to do? I'll get a place for the night,
take a relaxing bath & go back to the train station in the morning, that
was my plan. Got a place near the station, no bath only shower. It was so hot
in August, I learned one word pretty quickly: l'agua, my most prized purchase.
I went back next morning , same time of train arrival. Voila! there she was,
relief flooded thru me.Yay!
What happened was she went downstairs to the platform & I
went upstairs to the mezzanine & thats how we missed each other. But now we
were together and ready for our adventure. We had a whole month! Carole brought
me to the cute apartment she had rented, luckily she was a Spanish speaker,I
settled in and then we went exploring. Let the adventures begin!Here are some
of our adventures, we saw the Alhambra,that Moorish Kingdom, we were
awed by its timeless art and artifacts. But most of all I
remember, it was hot as hell that day, c'mon it was August!
We visited Catholic cathedrals as well and we were forewarned to
dress modestly or we would be refused entry. Strict those Catholics. We
had rich eyes viewing all those timeless treasures.
We had tons of fun in Barcelona, we
went to the beach, shopped for bathing suits ,we listened to music, went to
galleries and we rambled along Las Rambles, that famous street in Barcelona. A
highlight was Gaudi architecture , we marvelled at the whimsical Disney like
buildings, never having seen anything like it. We went to Flamenco dance shows
many times. My friend is a dancer, we soaked it up. It was wonderful!One day we
took a day trip to the Jean Miro museum which was laid out in a beautiful park
like setting. I remember it being a very pleasant day. Soon our time in
Barcelona was over (I loved it) and we were on to the next adventure, Cuenca a
lovely little hamlet with a town square . This was a new feature to me & I
delighted in the idea of a common area for the townspeople to hang out in.
Later found out this was a common occurrence in Europe.Would this idea fly
in the states I wondered? We then moved to Madrid where Carol had a friend who
had a Vespa that we tooled around town on. What fun, I considered getting one
for my life back home in Tribeca/Manhattan. Not, safety first. Visiting the
Prada museum was awesome! I noticed a big difference in
religous are ther & in America,, all the
religous figures were painter slim & slender, unlike in the
states.Curious. Seville was to be our last stop in Spain. We travelled to all
the points so far by train or bus. We got accomodations on arrival. The
plan was I watched the luggage & my friend who speaks Spanish got our
lodging. We always lucked out with nice ,modest places. How gutsy when I think
of it, no cell phones, no reservations yet we Yes, we did just fine getting accommodations.As a matter of fact
my friend Carol, the dancer, went back every summer to those very same sweet
places to study ,dance of course & Spanish, but I digress...Next stop
Portugal! We took a bus to the sea and a ferry to the Algarve...it looked very
beautiful upon arrival. I had a special interest in going there, my father who
I only met recently was Portuguese and growing up I didn't know any
Portuguese people, so I wanted to see them and get to know more about
them. I had plenty of opportunities. The people were beautiful, warm and
friendly. I liked that, especially the children. I remember meeting a
bunch of kids on the beach, they were so playful & fun, they let me
photograph them.
Now, being a couple of single women we were prime
targets for the male persuasion. As predicted, 2 sailors tried to chat us
up & pick us up. They offered to take us on their boat out to see
'the grotto'. My friend was very interested. I hesitated, we will be at their
mercy out on the water I reasoned. Being newly single I did not have the skills
my friend had of coping with unwanted advances. So she went & I did not; I
spent the day at the beach relaxing. When she returned at sundown I asked
'How was it?' They tried to make a move but I distracted them and I just
loved seeing the grotto. Okay, live and learn. We heard some fabulous music in
Portugal called Fado, so haunting. I did buy a tape which was the thing
back then so I can always rekindle that memory when I listen to it. ( or ask
Alexa) Before long the month was up & we were planning to fly home out of
Lisboa. I suggested we stay our last nite in Lisbon at a 4star hotel, my
friend agreed so on our last nite we had a very comfy, cozy stay at luxury
hotel, livin la dolca vida. About a week before our departure . I had a strange
felling in my belly, what was it? I felt homesick. I had never been away from
home for such a long period, one month. My friend just laughed, you're so
funny, so sentimental. Whatever it was, there's no place like home & just
like that I completed my first trip abroad bringing with me beautiful
souvenirs & happy memories. This adventure expanded me more than I
realized then but in retrospect it was pretty amazing: my own coming of age
story at 40 years old!
Black and
White
Black Lives
Matter:
Living the
Solution Everyday
by Ani Crane
My dear friend Bridget challenged me
to write a piece to promote race relations. We are a black and white
friendship, which is a blessing to us both.
In our conversation she asked me
what makes you so open and receptive to others not like you? I
thought a moment, my story tells the tale. I myself am an outlier being an
adopted person. Therefore I feel compassion and empathy for others who are
different from the norm, marginal people. That said, the solution is all about
relationship and communication. Let me start with definition: relationship is
the way in which two or more people are connected or the state of being
connected. It's about connecting and trusting and being vulnerable...and that's
what's missing. Trust takes time, it doesn't happen overnight. To overcome 400
years of injustice takes a tsunami to make that change. Racism is a dance and
it is the moral obligation of white people to change the steps and the rhythm
working together with people of color to forge the changes. The timing is
right and the time is now to work in solidarity. How have I been
impacted by racism is the question white people need to ask, an
examination of conscience.
White people must unlearn,
re-evaluate and recognize their biases. There must be a willingness to take
stock and notice patterns with the aim of truth. It is a white issue to be
solved.
An equal respect for all
cultures is called for; respect for what is sacred to a culture, justice and
equality must prevail. A power shift has to happen, one race the human
race. Be the solution you want to see.
How to begin: communicate, educate,
demonstrate, resist, be an outcome advocate. We are more powerful in unity,
love, and beauty than in hate and fear. We can work together towards a wondrous
renewal, new life, and unconditional freedom. Pray for grace, love is a state
of grace. Change fate together. Shift the power. The revolution has begun,
hopefully it will be a spiritual one.
For starters, I interviewed some of
my FOC (friends of color)
about what solutions look like to them. Here
is what they have to say: Yvonne:
For 67 years we have supported and loved each
other
through
marriages, births, divorces, and deaths.
systemic changes for equality and
accountability. Erika: Someone must actually want to have a discussion. There
must be honest reckoning with ourselves and be open to listen (both sides).
Gina:
Gina and I are multigenerational and
multi cultural friends.
There is no generic black person.
There are at least 4 types and cultures, northern blacks, southern blacks, African
and Caribbean Islands. All have very different cultures.
And the immigrant advantage is a
real thing, immigrants enjoy higher regard than natives.
On an individual level here's
how:
In my own life I have reached out to
many others because I am empathetic, interested and curious. More recently I
have read many books by black authors on creating a culture of
anti-racism.
(see list) from the latest efforts
to some of the heroes of the past, Malcolm X, James Baldwin, Zora Neale Hurston,
Toni Morrison and a favorite of mine, Zadie Smith..
I have had the pleasure of being in
the Mahogany Book-club for a number of years reading only black authors and
building trust with my sister readers which came as a side effect or gift I
should say. I have built friendships there. I live the change I want to see
happen. I've always been drawn to POC since I was young. My friendship with Yvonne,
over the years since high school, is remarkable and has always been a constant
in my life.
even though it is a mixed
relationship, it has little to do with race. We both emerged in the same time
period, the 50's, the same place, Queens, N.Y., and the same religion, Catholic.
Basically we have the same value system and that is what holds us
together to this day.
I will add that those values have
shifted over time but our core values remain the same, we're still on the same
page. I see her beauty and she sees mine.
Being members of the human race we
all have the same basic needs: autonomy, celebration, integrity, support,
interdependence,
physical nurturance, play, spiritual
communion. And we also share the same basic feelings. When our needs are
fulfilled we feel amazed, eager, glad, joyous & comfortable. When our needs
are not fulfilled we feel angry, nervous, discouraged, irritated, overwhelmed
and sad to name a few. Where we differ is in the strategy we use to get
our needs met. We can choose positive strategies and sometimes we choose not so
positive strategies. We are a match in that all humans want safety and
protection and if that is threatened we may respond negatively.
How to change? Connecting and
communicating is a good place to start. A definition of communication that I
like is: a transfer of information involving sender, receiver and a response.
Start a conversation, get a dialogue going. But before you get to this point,
self education is needed. A good place to start is to learn the vocabulary of
this topic, like any other subject, it has a vocabulary all it's own (see
vocabulary list). Another helpful way to educate oneself is to read books
by Black authors to gain understanding. This will help you to get familiar with
the culture of anti-racism. I see a lot of this happening all around me
now, yet 49% of the people are not on board. I say to you keep the faith, we
are the light bearers, we have the power of love, do not be distracted. Carry
on let your light shine. Change will come. To quote author Ibram X. Kendi
“I am a historian and that is what gives me hope, I can see change over the
years”.
How to make changes on a personal
level...first live the change I want to see. Examine how does systemic racism
impact me unconsciously? White privilege?
After soul searching, forgive self
and focus on healing the inequities,
bask in the beauty of this and
gain power. We are not free till everyone is free. Equality and freedom are
empowering. One way that was helpful to me was joining the Mahogany Book-club
at a local library. Over the years I have made several good friends, so good
that when I fell & had surgery a couple of these friends visited me during
my recuperation. I saw real results of the energy I had happily
contributed. My goal was to educate myself but I received so much more in human
comradery, very rewarding
Once I reached out there other
avenues opened up to me ie; a very fine black bookstore in my area. I went
there to purchase books for my grandchildren, this had many benefits...I was
educating the little ones and supporting the bookstore. Another opportunity
happened as I sing in a chorus which rehearsed in the African American Museum,
a chance to get familiar with it and learn what's going on there. A number of
our local artists painted Black Lives Matter on the street in front of the
Museum, it is one of the most beautiful in the nation. Every holiday season
there is a Toy Drive for local children sponsored by the Museum. And there is a
Youth Farm project to get involved in if that is your interest. The
possibilities are endless. If you simply wish to support by adopting one of the
Organizations as your favorite charity, that works too. You can contribute to
Black Lives Matter or The Color of Change or select one of many more. (see list
of
Donations)
On a community level, there is plenty to be done. For
starter’s peaceful protest and resistance. Let our energy be felt. We need to
create a culture of anti-racism. There are many tools and examples to follow.
Books, Films and T.V. (see list) are a good starting place. Mixed discussion
groups on those timely topics thru outreach are useful in the education
process. Working for systemic change and restorative justice by volunteering
and post card writing to make our demands known. After systemic change,
accountability to make sure there is no back sliding. Help get the vote out. In
my area there was a drive called Roll to the Polls, a group effort to drive
folks to the polls so they could vote, it was very successful. These grassroots
efforts are the foundation of change. If you have true passion for the cause
you might join forces with Black Lives Matter or donate. Three women of color
formed this organization. It is the largest protest movement in history. Patrice
Cullers, one of the founders, came out with a book describing the founding of
the organization in ‘When they Call You A Terrorist’. Create what you
want by living it, her motto.
Recently Alicia Garza, another founder, came out
with her book, ’The Purpose of Power’.
In it she urges the dismantling of existing
systems and creating new ones. She encourages solidarity, join the BLM.
Movement. Set your intention and then, action behind intention. You can become
involved as much or as simply as you like.
A word about reparation, there is much pay back overdue. Where
to begin? My vision
Have a centralized clearing-house where all
contributions are sent (individual, corporation, government) and people of
color can request funding. The money should be given out Carte Blanche to
people of color regardless, like unemployment. I offered my idea to the local
Director of The African American Museum. Her response was ‘where there is
vision, God makes provision ‘.
Terri Lipsey Scott
Director of the
Woodson African American Museum
St Petersburg, FL
We have examples of reconciliation in history to
learn from. In South Africa, Apartheid was done away with. It can be done, it
can be accomplished it was! Archbishop Tutu and. Nelson Mandela were
instrumental in this success, Truth and Reconciliation. We have our own heroes
as well, Martin Luther King, John Lewis fighting valiantly for freedom.
Another example is;
The Nuremberg Trials to get justice from the
atrocities of the Nazis. We can learn from these examples and create additional
means to suit our situation and culture.
In summation, we are all the same; all members
of the human race same needs different strategies. The children are our future,
teach them well to understand is to forgive ourselves first, then healing. Love
ourselves first, then one another, bask in our beauty. And gain power and imagine what could be accomplished working
together in solidarity each contributing their gifts. Strength in numbers.
To quote the words of Isabel Wilkerson, “We can
rejoice when our brothers and sisters break free that there may be one more
human being who can add their strength to humanity.” Let us correct the rupture
we have inherited. Let there be an intervention of humanitarian impulses,
everyone benefits when society meets the needs of the disenfranchised. The
system can be dismantled, once awakened more of us will have radical empathy.
Full embrace of all humanity lifts the standards of any human endeavor. We are
responsible for our own ignorance or open hearted enlightenment,
Our own wisdom, astonishment of what our species
is capable of and great to be alive for this. In closing I refer to the words of Ibram X. Kendi, ‘ As an author and
historian I must have hope, by observing the progress that has happened
already.’
In interviewing my friends of color,
one of them gave me the metaphysical point of view.
“ Everything is happening as it is supposed to
happen. More people are becoming aware of the racial inequalities and
injustices around the world. As more people become educated and atrocities are
exposed, humanity will continue to evolve. Our planets’ energetic vibration
will rise as humanities consciousness is elevated.
A lot of the problem is ignorance,
misinformation, fear of change and lack of personal exposure to other cultures.
The media: movies, television, magazines etc. paint a false picture of reality.
Many people just do not believe the problem is as serious as the protestors say
it is.
Our history books need to be rewritten so future
generations will learn what really is happening in our country and on our
planet. Change has to start with the children.”
Gloria M.
Gloria: “ We met at A Forever Moving
Dance class and discovered we are both psychic.”
She moved to Atlanta and we speak monthly.
Definitions:
Multi culturalism- several
distinct ethnic groups supported
Abolitionist- favors abolishment of slavery
Assimilationist- advocates racial integration
Afrocentricity- Regard African
culture as prominent
Outcome advocate-for levels of outcome: law,
accountability, transparency, more involvement
Collectivism-group priority over people in it
Immigrant advantage- have pluck, wit &
commitment , individualism & self reliance & use of system
Racist-discrimination against POC & believes
ones race is superior
Anti-racist- opposes racism and promotes racial
tolerance
Suggested
Reading List:
I have read all the books on this list, by Black
Authors, some classics by Toni Morrison & James Baldwin and some by more
current crop of black writers like Inram X Kendi & Isabel Wilkerson. All
contributed to my education & greater understanding of the Black Culture.
Color of Water James McBride
Song of Solomon Toni Morrison
The Fire Next time James Baldwin
Another Country James Baldwin
The Warmth of other Suns Isabel Wilkerson
Stamped From the Beginning Ibram X Kendi
How to be an Anti Racist Inram X Kendi
White Fragility Robin DeAngelo
Me $ White Supremacy Layla Saad
So You Want to talk about Race Ijeoma Oluo
The Outlier Malcolm Gladwell
Caste Isabel Wilkerson
Film & TV
Film
Just Cause
Black Panther
If Beale St. Could Talk
The Hate U Give
Moonlight
Fruitvale Station
Get Out
Blackkklansman
Hidden Figures
12 Years A Slave
Daughters of the Dust
Fences
Hoop Dreams
Color Purple
Sounder
Boyz in the Hood
Precious
Do the Right Thing
Raisin in the Sun
The Forgiven
Malcolm X
TV
Dear White People
Empire
Queen Sugar
Atlanta
Watchmen
Becoming
Homecoming: Beyonce
Orange is the New Black
Insecure
Black-ish
Donations
Black Lives Matter
Color of Change
Community Justice Exchange
Black Visions Collective
We are all born free
We all want...‘ free to be’
Enjoying love, joy and peace
La dolce vita, plenty, a feast
Work, play, rest and devotion...agree?
II
Same goals, different strategy
Discussion is the key
Thriving for everyone
With humor, style, a place in the sun
fairness, loyalty, liberty!
Chorus
Say bye bye to that twinkle of fear
Our love prevails and is sincere
We are one human race
Solidarity in this time and place
Welcome our autonomy
Celebrate our humanity
Interdependence and integrity
III
Hold that high vision
Visualize a rainbow prism
Dignity and respect for all
Otherwise we shall fall
Glimpse possibility, & escape the prison
Dear People
We are all on our own
path from birth to death & we all have our own experiences, and they are
all different. Those experiences are how we choose our values, which are all
different as well. What is the same is we are all members of the human race and
we all live here on planet earth together. We cannot know one another’s pain
without walking in another’s shoes. So I am calling for compassion for one
another. I remember when we were called the melting pot and it was a wonderful
thing. Everybody get together try & love one another right now. We the
people...
Thank you,
Ani Crane, Author,
Psychic, Wise Woman
Joe was tough, intelligent,full of integrity and honesty but with a sense of humor, charming and handsome. He was my first love, my husband of 21 years, the father of my 5 children. We met at the beach as teens and grew up together. He was born in Queens, his home town, and lived there his whole life, went to PS 108.
Joe was a self made man, a high school dropout who became an engineer, no small feat. His was a true success story, responsible, faithful husband, devoted father and a chosen career. We miss his presence to this day In many ways but are consoled by the fact that he rests in peace, free at last.
